Knife-Wielding Tesla Kills Pedestrian

BOSTON—In an incident that sent shock waves across the automotive industry, a knife-wielding Tesla Model S reportedly killed local pedestrian Lucy Friedman Friday after pursuing her down a city street.

“Based on data retrieved from the vehicle, the Tesla’s camera appears to have accidentally locked onto the pedestrian as she approached a crosswalk before opening its machete hatch, deploying the blade, and chasing her into a darkened alley,” said Tesla spokesperson Lindsey Singh, expressing regret for the programming malfunction that caused the car to rev its engines, turn on its flood lights, and pursue the terrified 32-year-old with a chassis-mounted blade.

😂

He shouldn’t have told that Elon dick joke.

Where was the good self-driving car with a knife

'..Tesla ..among the most dangerous US workplaces..': '..wrongfully terminated ..for union activity..': '..confidentiality agreement ..disallow ..union..': '..Autopilot Deaths ..6..':

MykaFox I thought of you when I saw this. Not just self-driving cars, but autonomous stabby cars.

Is this a Jalopnik headline?

Breaking: Elon Musk to buy the Onion

It's white, so it was taken into custody.

”Sentry mode” taken to the next level.

'Watch it! I'm driving here!'

it Did tell him no, it didnt want its windows washed first, as well as give them fair warning.

Freaking Elon. I told him the murder model wasn't a good idea right now.

Finally Elon does something right

Let’s get close

I brought this NDA for you to sign as a witness.

That looks more like horse blood.

I wonder how many ponies that thing has under the hood? 🤣

The Joke is that it's using the Knife when in Reality it use AK-47

elonmusk wyd?

elon blames driver

Then shows her it’s gear shift and tells her she can have a horse if she takes it for a nice long ride.

Bet its elons fault

But not me 😔

...makes family sign an NDA

This has to stop

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